I can't help but think for the 27th time in the last few days how very much I like Kansas City. It's an almost unnatural affection that has caught me by surprise over and over again. I'm a mountains and oceans and foreign lands kind of girl, so the thought of being captivated by a blah-blah city smack dab in the heart of the ho-hum Midwest is just, well, a bit peculiar to say the least. I wrote "blah-blah city" just now in order to articulate the difference between places I've been and the place I sit right now - and yet, so thrilled is my whole being over Kansas City in this moment that it seriously pains me to call it that. It feels unjust.
I've always genuinely liked Kansas City, but I guess I've figured that after living here for more than a year that the newness would have worn off by now, that I'd be bored and ready for some fresh place to conquer. I've spent the last five months in thriving metropolises like Las Vegas, Miami, and San Diego. I've seen the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian Oceans. I've hiked in mountains and canyons in South Africa, California, Pennsylvania, and Nevada. The old Lindsay would have been so ready to get out of here by now. That's why I call this extraordinary endearment towards KC unnatural. It is not in nor of myself. And thus, I conclude, it must be supernatural - of my Father.
The encounter with His love I experienced in Masiphumelele last week has altered the workings of my heart and mind. I did not realize it in the moment, but that encounter was the answer to many prayers I've prayed these last few months. I've been asking God to shake me in the way He first did - three years ago March. It was my undoing, as I like to call it. It was then that the Lord literally undid me by dousing me thoroughly with a spirit of wisdom and revelation over the matter of His affection for me. I started true life then. In some ways, every year I lived before that undoing seems like a blur. The world went from black-and-white to full-on 3-D color. I woke up from my spiritual stupor at long last and finally began to pursue the Kingdom with legitimate passion. Everything genuinely changed for me - the grass actually seemed greener, the air had never felt so fresh, and the words on the pages of my Bible might as well have been jumping out of the book and dancing all over my body. I lived, I loved God and people out of a gushing heart.
For the last three years I've been constantly aware that to love God truly and to love people well, I can only do so in response to knowing God's love for me. The fire has never stopped burning, but it has been in dire need of a stoking and refueling. A soul can't run a lifetime on just one revelation. Well, maybe some souls can, but mine surely cannot!
All that to say - the effects of the weeping with Jesus under the stars in Cape Town have been reminiscent of those first days that I was swept up in enthrallment with the Lord. Colors seem brighter, people seem more intriguing, and I just keep wishing I could drink the beauty of the city with a straw! I am eager for His Presence and so quickly and thoroughly delighted by every single little way I see Him. I am my Beloved's and He is mine! Rest is actually pleasant for me now and being still is no longer agonizing.
Let's seek the Lord while He may be found, let's call on Him while He is near... Let's give ourselves fully and wholly and entirely and utterly to Love. Let's leave the former things, let's run after glory.
I lived in Kansas City for over a year now. That makes me an official resident. That makes me part owner. I'm not a stranger or alien. I'm a daughter of the King and an heir to the Throne! I have spiritual authority in this city. I can stare racism square in the face with eyes aflame with peace. I can walk down the street in friendly conversation with a transexual and invite them to lunch knowing the mighty devotion of the Father over us both. I can walk unsettled past perverted men knowing full well that I stand blameless before my Father. This is my city now. And by the mercy of God, I truly love it.
My sin has been forgiven for His name's sake. I know Him who is from the beginning. I have overcome the evil one. I know the Father. I am strong. The Word of God is steady in me. And I have overcome the evil one. - 1 John 2:12-14
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