stuff.

There is something about living out of a duffel bag for an extended period of time that induces a detached feeling. No matter how poor I’ve convinced myself I am or how scanty my wardrobe seems to be, just put me on the road where I’m wearing the same four shirts and two pair of jeans for a month or so. Inevitably, when I return home and plop my bag down in front of my closet to begin unpacking, I’ll be slightly thrilled and slightly horrified at how many clothes I have.

Not too long ago, one of my roommates began to pursue her life-long dream of going to Ireland. Although her many previous attempts to go had failed, Jessica found herself in a season where God was breathing on her dreams. Gaining confidence from the Father that her love for Ireland was really His love for Ireland, she began to prepare to visit the country for an extended period of time. I watched in awe as she began to give away the majority of her stuff. For weeks, we were making trips to Goodwill and friends houses on a regular basis as she happily handed over furniture, CDs, art, room decor, and bag after bag of clothes. Needless to say, my own possessions may have increased a bit during her giving frenzy! I was thoroughly intrigued, however, at the increasing look of contentment evident on her face.

Jessica spent two months with nothing but a backpack as she wandered all over Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland, and England. I thought when she came home that she’d be sorry she’d given so much of her stuff away before leaving. Instead, after living for two months with just one bag’s worth of stuff, she was ready to give away more of what she’d left behind!
One day, I’m sitting in my rocking chair in my room spending time with Jesus. I say “ my” rocking chair, but if we’re honest, I’m not really sure where it came from. I think maybe Jessica found it on the side of the road somewhere. And I say “ my” room, but I rent, so technically its not really mine either.

Anyways, I’m sitting there just expressing thanks to Jesus for His many gifts to me. My eyes are running over the room and I’m thanking Him for each thing one by one. In this moment, I have two realizations. One realization is that 87% of the stuff in the room was either in the room when I moved in or was given to me. The other 13% was bought either at the thrift store or Target. I feel very free, thinking that I could easily get rid of stuff that’s not really mine anyways. The second realization is that Jesus could very easily ask me to do just that - get rid of everything & hit the road with the gospel. So I mentally go through every single item in my room, asking myself realistically what I could give up and not give up. I settle on a three pieces of art, one of my Bibles, and my stack of journals (from when I was like 12 until now) as the only things I really don’t want to part with.

Since that moment with Jesus, I’ve found myself being really grateful for every little thing I own and simultaneously unattached to all of it. I want to be ready to go at a moment’s notice, at the exact minute I hear Him whisper "GO."