full circle.

A little over a year ago, I crossed the border from Ohio to Kentucky and the Kentucky state sign jumped out at me.  It had a picture of a horse and it read "Unbridled Spirit."  The Lord spoke to me in that moment and I knew that the spirit of religion had bound up the Holy Spirit in the state of Kentucky.  I knew that the Lord wanted to unbridle the Holy Spirit to run free across the state.  I was on my way to the first ever state gathering of students and campus leaders who felt called to see a movement of prayer sweep Kentucky.  

The gathering that night was incredibly powerful.  The Lord had been pouring out dreams and visions in the hearts of leaders across Kentucky for months prior.  God confirmed to me that what I sensed crossing the border was true as person after person shared about the religiosity that was stifling true revival.  In the weeks and months following that initial gathering, the believers in Kentucky mustered themselves together for united prayer.  If my memory served me correctly, there was a season of 24-7 prayer that spring between multiple campuses.  Again that next fall, leaders fasted together for a week and held another season of united prayer.  And again this last spring, ten or twelve different campuses across Kentucky came together for forty days of 24-7 prayer.

I had the privilege of celebrating with students at the end of the last forty days of prayer.  As we huddled together in the middle of Campbellsville University Easter weekend praying and worshipping, I looked around the circle of gathered individuals and marveled at the fruit of prayer.  

I looked across at Shawna, a student at Eastern Kentucky University, who was not walking with Jesus when prayer began to burst forth in her state just a year ago.  She is now passionately pursuing the Lord, leading a large Bible study on campus, and witnessing to her fellow students and professors regularly.  I had the privilege of sharing the gospel to another EKU student alongside Shawna just a few nights ago.  

I looked across at David, who was a student at Eastern Kentucky University last year.  He's a brilliant percussionist whose life got wrecked by Jesus this last year.  Since September he's lived in his car with the legend known as Curt, traveling around the nation, praying on campuses, leading worship, and preaching the gospel.  

I looked across at Jackie, a student from the University of Kentucky.  She never knew Jesus growing up and has suffered from depression.  She now lives a vibrant, passionate life for the Lord.

I looked across at Chris, who graduated from the University of Kentucky a few years ago, and Jordan, who is a student at Eastern Kentucky University.  Both of these guys have been experiencing more and more of God’s transformative power in their lives recently and spent spring break down in Florida loving on college students with the gospel.  

Full circle.  I’m getting more and more convinced with each passing year.  This is how our feeble, whispered prayers work.  

A week and a half after the holy huddle in the middle of Campbellsville, I found myself back in Kentucky.  Late one night, in a house near EKU, I sat with this redeemed one named Shawna, her redeemed roomate named Amanda, my own redeemed roomate Jessica, and one very distraught young woman named Tau.  We swapped stories of adventure and the faithfulness of God, prayed over Tau’s broken heart, shared our stories of redemption, and explained the gospel until the wee hours of morning.

And I marveled.  I marveled that over a year ago, in the midst of a stirring for prayer on campuses in Kentucky a student named David got messed up by Jesus and loved another student named Shawna back into Righteousness, and how now Shawna is loving another student named Tau into the Kingdom.  

Full circle.

Today I checked my Facebook inbox and saw a message from a girl named Jacki who is from Kentucky, but is a student at University of North Texas.  And I'm reminded of the great stirring that's happened in Denton at UNT this last semester.  Students up all night praying.  Random kids from all over campus meeting each other by divine set-ups.  The intent search for a permanent house of prayer.  The professors and classmates that are getting witnessed to.  It hits me again how far reaching this movement is sweeping... from one state to another, from one campus to another.  

Brilliant, Lord Jesus.  Stunningly, shockingly, magnificently brilliant.

For as the rain and snow come down from haven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and breadi to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not retun to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.  - Isaiah 55:10-11

the hallway at the Holiday Inn

   Soooo... I left Kansas City Wednesday morning.  I spent a day in Lexington, Kentucky.  Now I'm in Pennsylvania.  Here are a few observations from the last few days:

  - Before buying a bunch of groceries for a roadtrip, check to make sure your traveling companion isn't also buying groceries.  Or you might end up with three bags of food for two people- including three bags of mini carrots enough dark chocolate to feed a whole women's conference.

  - When you're at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, before bending over with your butt in the air rubbing lotion on your legs, check and make sure there is not a car-full of men watching you first.  It can create a potentially embarrassing situation otherwise. 

  - As ridiculous as I look trying to do a cartwheel, six-foot-nine men look even sillier.

  - No matter how good guys tell you Wafflehouse is, don't eat there.  I almost threw up after breakfast there.  (Sorry, Jaron)

  - I think if you knocked me out and transported me to West Virginia, when I woke up I would totally know I was in West Virginia.  There's just something about the place.  

  - Sleep is overrated.  Sometimes. 

  - Guava makes juice super, super sweet.

  - John 9 is a flippin' sweet chapter.

  - The Bible on CD can be very entertaining.  Especially when all the characters get different accents.

  - Glasses can be fixed with a straightened staple.  If you stick ice in a QT cup (with a lid) it keeps your cooler cold without melting water on everything.  T-shirts look cool if you cut them up a bit.

  - Two people my size can definitely sleep on a twin mattress.

  - Jockeys are very small people and horse races only last about a minute and forty-four seconds.  And betting is apparently the reason you go to horse races. 

  - Saving people from scams is my new ministry.  I have already saved two almost-victims this week.  (But only because I was scammed out of three thousand dollars last summer.  Oh yes.)

  - Bourbon & Toulouse is where its at in the way of Cajun food in Lexington, Kentucky.  Good luck finding it, unless you're with a native.

  -Being in constant pain sucks.  Apparently I need a 24-7 reminder that my body is a temporary tent for my eternal soul.

  - The Holy Spirit and adrenaline are somehow linked, because my body starts freaking out every time there's a story be told of what Jesus is up to.

  - It IS entirely possible to overcome claustrophobia of the feet.  When I first started sleeping in the mummy sleeping bag I got for Christmas (thank you Grammy) I would kinda get anxious because my feet felt trapped.  But after countless nights in my bag, I am almost over my paranoia.  I still always untuck the sheets at the bottom when I sleep in a bed though!

 >>>  I'm sitting in the hallway outside our hotel room at the Holiday Inn.  A few traveling buddies are inside sleeping away.  I want to be sleeping.  Really I do.  But more than that I want time alone with YOU, Lord.  Usually the desire for sleep gets the best of me, but for some reason tonight is different.  I probably look like a freak... I just got out of the shower and I didn't even bother to comb my hair.  Super attractive.  

  I already got a funny look from the hotel front desk dude earlier tonight when I came traipsing through the lobby in my bare feet with a large cup from QuikTrip in search for the ice machine.

But  I hate wearing shoes.  And funny looks from people just make me laugh.  More and more I am learning to embrace awkward moments.  Which is probably good since they seem to happen to me more and more frequently!  The more I read the gospels, the more I realize that You had Your share of funny-awkward moments too :)

I can't stop thinking about two women in Kentucky tonight.  One is a office assistant in Lexington.  She's about to get married, and I know, Lord that You're aching for her to enter into covenant relationship with You.   Another is a student in Richmond and her boyfriend just broke her heart.  And I now You're is aching for her to let You draw her into the Kingdom of Love.   I just keep thinking You want them, You want them.

Aaaahhhh.  It's good to reflect on life.  It's good to be still and take in all the things You've walked me through these last few days.  I'm always so quick to process the hard stuff or the deep stuff with You Lord, but I think You like hearing about all the little funny things too.  Life is adventurous because You've made it that way.  I'm glad You're funny.  And I'm glad You want to be a part of every little detail.  I sat down tonight with the intention of writing to You something deep and spiritual... but here its You and me alone in the hallway of Holiday Inn in Harrisburg, PA.  And this is intimacy.  Me getting in the secret with You.  YES.  This is it.  This is why You wanted me to come out here tonight.  Not for some earth-shattering revelation of holiness doctrine or something like that, but for the sharing of life.  Friendship with God.  This is part of what that means, eh?  I like You, Lord.  I like You a whole, whole lot.  

  

unsettled.

What is this beast wreaking havoc inside of me? This restlessness that has me nearly undone? Is it just because its spring? Is it just because every year since I was five I’ve been in a rhythm of structure that lends itself to unraveling about this time of the season? I speak of school, of course. It’s the first spring I have not been in school and usually this drive to run away can be associated with a pile of books, a few huge papers to write, and dreaded exams looming in the near future. But this year, this spring, I can’t tell you why in the world I want to run away. I guess the thing that really bothers me is that restlessness doesn’t just haunt me in the spring. It wraps its chilly fingers around my being far more often than that. It has for years.

I finally started cleaning my room this morning, after three days of intending to but never following through. Most days I love cleaning. I love the fully satisfied feeling that settles when something goes from filthy to spic and span with just a bit of sweat. Today, though, I had to force myself to put away my laundry, pick up my scattered belongings and fit them into drawers and shelves. You want to know why I had to force myself? Because the whole time I was fighting back an overwhelming urge to just pull out a few boxes and start packing up. The other urge I was fighting was to start putting half my stuff in a bag to take to Goodwill. Maybe its because for the last three springs, in the middle of studying for exams I’ve been packing to move out of a dormitory. I’ve had seven different bedrooms in the last four years.

“I-I-I gotta get out of here...” Its a line from a song. I can’t tell you who sings it. I just know it plays over and over in my head way too often. I want to run away. I just want out. I can’t tell you why. I have no idea. There’s no reason on the planet that I should feel this way. I have a good, good, good life. Especially now. Especially here. I can’t tell you what I want to run away from or what I want out of. I just know there’s an ache boring a hole in my chest right now, and a scream is welling up inside of me.

Sometimes I wonder to myself if I could really escape. I mean really run away in such a way that no one would know where I am. Which is silly. Ridiculous actually. I love my family, I love my friends, I love the spiritual family God’s put me in. I love being with people, even! Actually I would absolutely hate living by myself. But I wonder. Often, these days, actually. I wonder if I could disappear. Not forever maybe. Just for a while.

Ahh God. I remember a day when You so wrecked me that escape meant a plunge into a sea of fascination with You. I remember months and seasons going by where running only meant getting to You faster and disappearing only meant having You to myself in utter enlightenment. I remember moment after moment where seeking a thrill meant another outburst of Your freaky divine intervention in my life.

Lord! The hole threatens to consume me. Will You rescue me from myself once more?

Lindsay, I search you and know you. I know when you sit and when you rise up. I know your thoughts far before you do. I’ve searched out your path and I know when you lie down. I know all of your ways. Even before a word is on your tongue, I know it. I hem you in, behind and before. I have My hand on you. Such knowledge is too wonderful for you; its high and you cannot grasp it.

Where can you go from My Spirit? Where can you flee from My Presence? If you fly up and up, I’m soaring with you. If you make your bed in Hell, I come and spend the night. If you discover places no man has been, even there My hand is holding you and leading you. If you say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me and the light about me be night.” Daughter, even the darkness is not dark to Me. The night is as bright as the day to Me. Darkness is as light to Me.

For I formed you on the inside. I knit you together while you were still in Darla’s womb. You are intricately and specifically fashioned. Your frame was never hidden from Me. When you were being made in secret, when no human being knew who you were or who you could be, My eyes saw you. My eyes saw your potential, your dreams, your destiny. Your days I wrote out in My journal, every single last one of them! You should see the things I have written about you, Linds! My thoughts about you are vast in number. You couldn’t count them any faster than you could count the sand on the beach. When you wake and when you sleep, you are always on My mind.
-psalm 139

so that.

I guess the feelings that were overwhelming me must have been written all over my face, because yesterday after our Thursday morning prayer for Campus America, David Blackwell comes up to me and said... well, he said a lot of encouraging things, but one of them was an assignment for me. "Go to Loose Park, sit by the water, and meditate on Ephesians 2." David usually hears from the Lord pretty clearly, so I took his word for it, borrowed Wendy's car, and headed over to the park, all the while fighting back the tears that threatened to overtake me.

Sitting by the little duck pond, I began to write out Ephesians 2 as if it were a letter from the Lord to me. It helps, ya know. It helps me hear from the Father more clearly.

I read the oh-so-familiar words about how God in His rich mercy and great love has loved us even in our sin. How He's made us alive in Christ and saved us by grace and set us at His right hand together with Jesus. And I was so grateful once again for the miracle and mystery of love, marveling over the enchanting absurdity of His mercy on us.

And then I got bam-blasted by verse 7. Yes, that's right. BAM-BLASTED. Look at these words! I've never given them any thought before...
"so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus"

What a dynamic little combination of words. So that. In the coming ages. What the heck?!??

I've always seen this grace that's been poured out on us that we call salvation as the epitome of God's goodness. I've always looked at verses 5-6 and considered them the pinnacle of mercy. God gives us a thousand good gifts everyday, but loving us in our sin and seating us with Him - that's IT. Ya know? That's the grand finale. That's the top of the roller coaster. That's the "big" present under the tree on Christmas- everything else is just stocking stuffers.

But what if God's loved us in our sin, made us alive again, given us mercy, and raised us up with Christ - JUST SO tomorrow He could heap incomprehensible magnificence upon our heads? What if everything we've received so far is just the ticket into the banquet room? What if salvation is like the cover charge and the party is rocking inside? These words I see in my Bible are leaping off the page and prancing across my brain... so that. He's seated us in the heavenly places so that He can show us even more kindness.

I had an amazing conversation with my friend Max Justus Spransy at The Brick last night. Max is a genius musician, and sadly enough I haven't seen him in ages. But we were sitting in a booth, chatting about all kinds of Jesus stuff while waiting for his show to start. I was sharing quite animatedly about "so that." And Max, being the whiz he is, points out that an "age" is a super long time - like thousands of years probably. "So that in the coming ages" means that... well, basically it means my mind just got plumb blown away. An eternity of unending riches and kindness that I can't even imagine? SHABA.

We always say that God did all this stuff - you know, the bridging of the gap stuff - in order to be in relationship with us. He likes relationship we say. So He goes to great lengths to restore the friendship between the Divine and humanity we say. Shoot, that doesn't even scratch the surface, people! "Be in relationship with us" sounds so passive and so... so LAME. Reality is the thing we can't get our heads around. Reality is that He went to all these lengths to get to us so that He could lavish abundance on us every day for eternity. Passion that doesn't die after the wedding happens, but only begins. Passion that doesn't simmer fifty years in, but that burns hotter and brighter with each passing minute.

"Who are we if we're not in love?" The words of Jon Foreman's song keep pounding over and over in my head. He's more of a theologian than he knows. Humanity was created to be in love. Passionately, unabashedly, and freely in love with the Creator. When we resign ourselves to anything different or anything less than that, it seems like we're giving up our humanity. Who are we if we're not in love with Jesus? Blobs of matter that breathe for a while and then die like the rest of what makes up the earth? Being swept up off our feet is the thing of eternity. I don't know anything else that is. After all, everything that is good and right and true follows love. If we're truly in love with the Lord, we'll work hard, be people of integrity, give generously, contend for justice, take care of ourselves and our world.

Blow our minds, God. Blow our minds with Your Word. Blow our minds for how You feel about us.

"I'm in love with God and God's in love with me. This is who I am and this is who I'll be. That settles it. Completely." - Misty Edwards

jan 23. i saw jesus in vegas

after a week of Wilder in Las Vegas...

January 23, 2009
I wish there was a way to easily write everything in my heart and all the experiences of the last week...
Like eating a Bahama Breeze with all the State coordinators for Campus America, and driving past the fountains at the Bellagio on the strip - the ones that dance to music.

Like eating huge omelets at Omelet House with friends from around the country. Paul Kim from AZ ate a 12-egg omelet. Crazy. We got into an ice throwing skirmish and I threw a few pieces at him, he ducked and I ended up hitting some other guests at the restaurant. oops.

Like the evening at Red Rock Canyon... when I started climbing and just couldn’t stop until I got to the top. Even though I was NOT dressed for climbing and was wearing flimsy slip-on shoes. David Watkins and Cory Newell were hiking too... So fun. It was nearly dark, and I worried that we wouldn’t be able to get back down before dark - and indeed it was quite scary and slippery. But the breathtaking sight at the top and the exhilaration of climbing was worth it. I was shaking by the time I got to the bottom - ayayayayay. I said two things. 1) I want to climb mountains for the rest of my life. 2) Why do I live in the Midwest? It was definitely the most exhilarating two hours of my whole week - maybe the whole month. How I love God while exerting my body and using it to get me somewhere and breathing fresh air and taking in grandeur... Shabala.

Like staying at the YWAM base, painting a boiler room that’s to be a prayer room, hanging out with Mel and Sarah and Sam.

Like going back to Red Rock Canyon, climbing a hill - marveling at the desert, the sunset, and the glory of Jesus.

Like listening to Curt Vernon talk and sing about Jesus and being stunned... and wishing all over again that I knew Him.

Like laughing and joking over In & Out Burgers.

Like taking random pics on my new Macbook with Ryan and David.

Like hiding behind counter at Kinko’s and spooking this kid named Glen that we’d met earlier that week. A 6’5” 280 lb. black dude who is oh-so-cool. We went bowling with him in a casino - it was great fun. He creamed us all the first round, then tiny little Mel beat him barely, then Ryan kicked his butt... and then we talked to him about Jesus! Agnostic one minute, believer the next. That’s what I call transformative power :) So incredible.

Like talking to random students about Jesus. Asking people if I can pray for them. Asking people if they like their Blackberries and THEN asking them if I can pray for them :) Meeting international students. Talking about Jesus. Praying.

Like talking to a Taiwanese girl named Sheena about Jesus and watching her face contort when she heard about Jesus’s death and resurrection. And praying with her that if God is real that He would show Himself to her.

Like driving out to the foothills outside the city late at night... overlooking Las Vegas. A million lights, shadowy mountains, a guitar, funny friends, somber prayer, and laughter too. Feeling so many emotions... feeling so vulnerable... so aching to be loved... emotions heightened.

Like getting dropped off at the wrong apartment in the middle of the night, sticking my key in two different doors, getting yelled at by an old lady, and texting like mad until I figured out I was in the wrong complex.

Like praying & singing in the cafeteria

Like going for a run in a tank top and shorts - and its January!

Like meeting Anthony, the dear old guy who works on campus. He’s been divorced, wandered from place to place, is estranged from his family. We just got to bless him and pray over him. It was truly beautiful.

Like realizing how very, very grateful I am for the gospel. How the more I talk about Him, the more I long to know Him. How I realize pride and arrogance in my own heart... and how I just really, really need Jesus.

student cpx in vegas. jan 17

stories from Las Vegas...

January 17, 2009
So much to process this sunny afternoon at University of Nevada, Las Vegas. I’m supposed to be in a training right now, but I’m skipping out to unload my heart and mind. (Plus the sun is just so inviting!)
Last night as Ryan and I were trying unsucessfully to get into the dorm, a young black student helped us get in. I asked him what his name was. Scott. I then saw he was carrying the book by Joyce Meyers “Battlefield of the Mind.” I asked him if he loved Jesus - he grinned a big, happy grin and said “Yes! Do you love Jesus?” We proceeded to tell him about the weekend’s activities here on campus and about the prayer room we’d set up in a student lounge. He seemed intrigued, so we kept talking. He’s a freshman from Chicago with a passion for music. God had really gotten a hold of his life in the past semester. As his dreams of making it in the entertainment industry seemed to be dying, he had begun to ask God, “what are Your ideas for my life?” We talked a lot about Jesus and he ended up coming to the worship service with me.
I ran into Tyler, one of the Native American students who recently got saved at Haskell University, and soon found myself in the middle of a row of Asian students, with a Native American on one side of me, and a black American on the other side. MY HEART WAS SO ALIVE. Half of worship I spent just asking God for His work in the lives of Tyler and Scott. Remnants of oppressed American people - so precious in the eyes of God. Victorious overcomers, they are.
I ended up speaking over Tyler the words I felt the Holy Spirit whisper in my ear. “It’s no accident you’re here. It’s no mistake you are here. This gathering is not complete without you! The Father wanted you here. There is much in His heart for you, and there is much He has already put in you that the rest of us need.”
All the while, I am feeling for Scott and wanting the Holy Spirit to be poured out in his life. So I grab Brian Sun and Paul Kim from Arizona, and David Rempfer from Kentucky and ask them to pray over Scott with me. So right there in the middle of worship we just drench this freshman guy with boldness and authority in the Spirit. IT WAS AWESOME!!
I felt the Father smiling. Here I am, the Wilder project has really not even begun yet... and the first contact I make is with a black student. Of course, Lord. Of course.

Sitting in a session for Student CPX just now, the “Moth Hunter” as we affectionately call him, brought the word of God with such authority... as he has come to be known for! The Moth Hunter is a very tall, very Kentuckian man named Curt Vernon who loves Jesus with simple abandonment that revels most loves I’ve seen. He is humble, simple, hilarious, and one of the most profound people I have ever met. We were discussing baptism, and he broke into the large group conversation with a gentle voice... “The Lord spoke to me a while ago. I was asking him why people are complacent, why the church doesn’t move, why people backslide and He said to me, ‘Curt, you pass out resurrection without requiring death.”

jan 14

excerpt from the road this past winter:
January 14, 2009

God is so very EAGER to talk to us! He is SO very EAGER to hear from us. He has so much to say! So much love and wisdom and favor to speak over us! We can each hear from Him,

I, Lindsay Leigh Ellyson, can hear from the God of the universe. He speaks to me. I respond to Him. He moves on my behalf. He aches for me. I ache for Him. This is such a beautiful thing!

I just asked Him, “Father, what should I read in Your Word today? Your Word is life and sustenance and I am hungry!” The first thing that popped into my head was Isaiah 52. At first I am disappointed because I recognize the first few verses and I know I’ve read this chapter a lot, and I’m thinking that I made the reference up in my head. But I didn’t. I really do hear from God! And I think His task at the moment is to convince me of this. Every day, in some new way, I think I hear from Him and thus move timidly forward - only to hear a shout from heaven “YES, I DO SPEAK TO YOU AND YES YOU DO HEAR FROM ME!!!”

So here is the part of Isaiah 52 that totally grabbed my heart for where we are at today-
us, being me, Allison, and Ryan headed West for Wilder things.

“How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news,
this is us - we’re bringing good news to the Campuses of America
who publishes peace,
who brings good news of happiness,
who publishes salvation,
who says to Zion, ‘Your God reigns!’
this is our message
The voice of your watchmen we are the watchmen, its our voice going out
they lift up their voice; together they sing for joy; again this call to worship - Ryan’s heart, admonition from Adam about worship being our weapon
for eye to eye they see the return of the Lord to Zion. we can see the big picture, we have eyes for the Vision, thus we bear the message
Break forth together into singing, again worship you waste places of Jerusalem, for the Lord has comforted His people; He has redeemed Jerusalem. calling the dead to get back into the game
The Lord has bared His holy arm before the eyes of all the nations and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God. redemption has stories to tell
Depart, depart, go out from there; we’re going
touch no unclean thing; go out from the midst of her; purify yourselves, mandate or caution for us?? Lord, I ask for more clarity here.
you who bear the vessels of the Lord. we bear the vessels of the Lord
For you shall not go out in haste, and you shall not go out in flight, its not like we’re running for our lives, we’re going with intention and purpose to TAKE THE LAND
for the Lord will go before you and the God of Israel will be your rear guard.” He’s got our backs, for sure. This is His dealio.


God, Thank You for Your word. It’s right, it’s true, it’s energy to me! I ask for more here, God.

“Your God Reigns!” - that’s for the kids at NAU that we’ll be with tomorrow night, eh? I ask you humbly for more to this by the time we get there.

The admonition to “touch no unclean thing... purify yourselves” - Father, we want to be obedient to You! What does this mean for us? What does this look like? I long to hear Your thoughts on this, Father.

stuff.

There is something about living out of a duffel bag for an extended period of time that induces a detached feeling. No matter how poor I’ve convinced myself I am or how scanty my wardrobe seems to be, just put me on the road where I’m wearing the same four shirts and two pair of jeans for a month or so. Inevitably, when I return home and plop my bag down in front of my closet to begin unpacking, I’ll be slightly thrilled and slightly horrified at how many clothes I have.

Not too long ago, one of my roommates began to pursue her life-long dream of going to Ireland. Although her many previous attempts to go had failed, Jessica found herself in a season where God was breathing on her dreams. Gaining confidence from the Father that her love for Ireland was really His love for Ireland, she began to prepare to visit the country for an extended period of time. I watched in awe as she began to give away the majority of her stuff. For weeks, we were making trips to Goodwill and friends houses on a regular basis as she happily handed over furniture, CDs, art, room decor, and bag after bag of clothes. Needless to say, my own possessions may have increased a bit during her giving frenzy! I was thoroughly intrigued, however, at the increasing look of contentment evident on her face.

Jessica spent two months with nothing but a backpack as she wandered all over Ireland, Northern Ireland, Scotland, and England. I thought when she came home that she’d be sorry she’d given so much of her stuff away before leaving. Instead, after living for two months with just one bag’s worth of stuff, she was ready to give away more of what she’d left behind!
One day, I’m sitting in my rocking chair in my room spending time with Jesus. I say “ my” rocking chair, but if we’re honest, I’m not really sure where it came from. I think maybe Jessica found it on the side of the road somewhere. And I say “ my” room, but I rent, so technically its not really mine either.

Anyways, I’m sitting there just expressing thanks to Jesus for His many gifts to me. My eyes are running over the room and I’m thanking Him for each thing one by one. In this moment, I have two realizations. One realization is that 87% of the stuff in the room was either in the room when I moved in or was given to me. The other 13% was bought either at the thrift store or Target. I feel very free, thinking that I could easily get rid of stuff that’s not really mine anyways. The second realization is that Jesus could very easily ask me to do just that - get rid of everything & hit the road with the gospel. So I mentally go through every single item in my room, asking myself realistically what I could give up and not give up. I settle on a three pieces of art, one of my Bibles, and my stack of journals (from when I was like 12 until now) as the only things I really don’t want to part with.

Since that moment with Jesus, I’ve found myself being really grateful for every little thing I own and simultaneously unattached to all of it. I want to be ready to go at a moment’s notice, at the exact minute I hear Him whisper "GO."

church. or something like that.

It’s a Saturday evening, and I’m scarfing down some delicious homemade Korean food with some Asian students in an apartment near Beverly Hills. After eating, we pray and prophesy over each other, worship with a guitar, and tell stories of how God is moving in our lives.

It’s a Tuesday afternoon, and I’m taking communion in the parking lot of Cal State University Long Beach. Four of us huddle together, pass around a bottle half-full of Welch’s grape juice and a few little shortbread cookies, giving thanks and offering each other encouragement.

It’s late on a Wednesday night, and I’m overlooking the glowing lights of Las Vegas from the foothills outside city. One of my friends has a guitar, and we’re praying for the light of Jesus to fall on this dark place.

It’s early on a Friday morning, and I sit at a sticky dining room table with half-eaten waffles next to my Bible. There are kids playing a few feet away. Tears are in my eyes as conviction falls upon all of us gathered around the table at the words of Jesus that we’re reading in John.

It’s a Sunday night, and I go to a service at a church at the invitation of some friends. I go the service in the cool church building, but I know that the church I’ve been a part of on Saturday evenings in apartments, and Tuesday afternoons in parking lots, and Wednesday nights in the desert, and Friday mornings in dining rooms has been just real.

Dare I say that those times were even more real? I’ll be daring. I’ll say it. The church of Jesus Christ was never meant to exist on one day a week in one place.